


Cherry

by wonhee



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, i still can't write summaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 07:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15286407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhee/pseuds/wonhee
Summary: “Cherry.” He said.“What?”or simplykihyun tries to help an abused hoseok.





	Cherry

**COLLEGE YEARS**

**\--------------------------------------------**

Kihyun watched, silently seething at the scene playing before him. At the red haired man with the porcelain skin’s futile attempt of calming down the person next to him. Kihyun could almost feel the red haired man’s desperation as he attempted to take the other person’s hand and steer them out of the coffee shop.

“Who are they?” he asked, turning to Jooheon, the barista at campus he had just befriended. Jooheon was quite cute with his dimples and beaming smile and easy going nature.

“Oh? The red haired guy’s Hoseok, he’s a junior, majoring in music. And the guy next to him is his boyfriend Jack.”

“Boyfriend?” Kihyun asked, frowning as Jack grasped Hoseok’s hand roughly, voice still raised.

“Hmm they’re that on again off again abusive, toxic couple every college seems to have.”

“You say that as if it’s a joke.” Kihyun said, growing agitated by the minute. The coffee shop was packed to the brim, filled with students who seemed more interested in watching the scene unravel than to stop it. Hoseok looked afraid, he looked like he was going to cry at any minute. And yet no one made any moves to help.

“It’s not. I just don’t understand how he has all those muscles and doesn’t put it to good use is all.” Jooheon replied, shrugging and moving away to help another customer. Jooheon was right, Hoseok was seriously ripped; muscles bulging underneath the tight, white shirt he had on. He was tall too, completely towering over Jack. He had his head down by now, absorbing every spiteful word from Jack. Kihyun could see a girl slowly reach into her bag, bringing out her phone and attempting to slyly record the whole thing- no doubt to laugh about later.

It wasn’t funny, nothing about the situation was funny.

Grabbing his cup of coffee, he sauntered over until he was directly behind Hoseok. Digging into his backpack, he grabbed a wad of paper before tapping Hoseok’s arm. Hoseok turned around and Kihyun felt his traitorous heart skip a beat. Hoseok was _beautiful_ , despite the muscles his face looked surprisingly soft and round. His eyes were a delicate almond shaped, brown orbs big and sparkling with unshed tears. His lips were pulled into a pout and he quickly dabbed at his nose, before raising an eyebrow at Kihyun.

“Hey Hoseok,” Kihyun said, lips stretching into a grin. “You forgot your music sheets.”

He kept the grin on his face even as Hoseok looked through the wad of empty paper Kihyun shoved at him, confusion etched on his face. Jack reached forward, forcing Hoseok to face him before glaring at Kihyun.

“Hoseok. Who is this?”

“Yoo Kihyun. Me and Hoseok have music class together, nice to meet you.” Kihyun said, stepping in between them and putting a hand out for Jack to shake. Jack scoffed, thin lips beaded with sweat and eyes turning to slits. Ignoring Kihyun’s hand, he pushed his way through, storming out of the shop and Kihyun rolled his eyes.

Kihyun felt warm hands wrap around his wrist and Hoseok was dragging him out of the shop and steering him towards a bench. Hoseok’s eyes softened as he sat down, handing Kihyun back his sheets and glancing off to the distance.

“Thank you.” Hoseok spoke, voice hoarse.

“No problem. You look like you needed an escape.” Kihyun said, turning to him.

“Hmm.” Hoseok replied.

“I’m Kihyun.”

“You’re a freshman? I haven’t seen you around campus before.”

“Yep. Just moved in properly two days ago.”

“I’m Hoseok. Though you knew that.”

Kihyun laughed, leaning back on the bench and watching the leaves fall from a nearby tree.

“Yeah, I asked your name from the barista inside the shop.”

“Thank you once again, I’ll get going.” Hoseok said and Kihyun, against his better judgement, reached out and touched his arm lightly.

“It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t- you don’t have to go back to him.” Kihyun said and Hoseok’s lips turned up into a sad smile, hair blowing softly in the breeze. He looked like he held the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, a broken porcelain doll.

“I know.”

He stood up, gave Kihyun a brief wave and walked away.

*******

“Ki we _have_ to go to the party. I’ve been trying to get with Minhyuk for weeks.” Jooheon pleaded, pouting slightly and actually getting down on his knees.

“What does that have to do with the party and what does it have to do with me?”

“Minhyuk invited me to the party!”

“Okay, and?”

“ _And_ I don’t wanna go alone. Besides the Hoseok dude you almost fought with Jack for at the coffee shop will be there. Jack loves partying like it’s a job and Hoseok’s always with him like a fucking puppy.”

“Don’t, Jooheon, don’t call him that.” Kihyun scolded, dropping his calculator and glaring at Jooheon.

It had been 2 months since Kihyun talked with Hoseok at the coffee shop and he and Hoseok didn’t cross paths once after that. Hoseok, as Kihyun found out from Jooheon, mainly stuck to the music quarter of the college and when he’s not there, he’s downtown at his part time job. He lived off campus with Jack in an apartment close to the college, an apartment Jack apparently paid for. Jack was rich (information Jooheon gladly delivered Kihyun). His father had a chain of restaurants around the world while his mother was CEO of Jordan industries. Jack, being their only child was set for life.

“Right I’m sorry. But please, come with me. You’re an accounting student for God's sake you need to have fun. Balding isn’t far away.”

“I’m 18.”

“Please.”

“Fine.” Kihyun replied, rolling his eyes and going to get ready. He couldn’t say no to Jooheon anyway, and he craved much needed time off from studying. And if Hoseok was going to be at the party, well it was an added bonus.

Kihyun could hear the pulsing music from the party a block away as he walked slowly with Jooheon. The November chill coursed through his bones and he pulled his coat tighter, taking a moment to observe himself in a car’s mirror. A slightly tanned face stared back at him, brown eyes round and unblinking. His nose was starting to get red and his lips a bit chapped. He had lost quite a bit of weight over the summer and he grinned at himself, satisfied. He looked good.

He kept his eyes out for a flesh of red as they walked up towards the party. Students milled around, talking, drinking, having fun. He could already see a few making out and as he entered the threshold of the frat, he saw one girl lead another up a long flight of stairs, giggling all the way.

“See I told you coming with me would be good. Minhyuk’s over there and look who’s next to him.” Jooheon whispered, pointing not so discreetly inside the living room. Hoseok was perched on Jack’s lap, beer in his hand. Kihyun watched as Jack leaned up and whispered something in his ear prompting Hoseok to let out a small chuckle. He looked happy- but this was also the same Jack that was shouting at him a few weeks ago in a coffee shop for all to hear.

Wasting no time, Jooheon grabbed Kihyun, pushing him forward towards where they sat and shamelessly throwing his arms around a guy Kihyun knew could only be Minhyuk. Minhyuk’s blonde hair was slicked back, eyes laughing as he hugged Jooheon back. He had a small, opal face and high cheekbones; his slightly thin lips stretched into a wide grin.

“You made it!” Minhyuk cried, loud voice booming. Kihyun definitely knew his voice would be loud.

“I did! I had to physically drag this one away from his boring accounting books first which is why I was late.”

Kihyun stifled a laugh, astonished at the transformed Jooheon. The same Jooheon who was begging him was now smiling flirtatiously, squeezing himself next to Minhyuk.

“I’m this one.” Kihyun introduced.

“Yoo Kihyun right? Jooheon talks about you all the time.” Minhyuk said, leaning over and dragging a spare chair over for Kihyun. Kihyun sat down, sneaking a glance at Hoseok. He hadn’t even noticed Kihyun was there.

“That’s me. Jooheon talks about _you_ all the time though I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

Kihyun grinned as a blush creeped up Jooheon’s cheeks.

“Do you?” Minhyuk asked, tone flirtatious and Kihyun grinned, getting up and heading into the kitchen. He dug around for something to eat, feeling just a bit sad at Hoseok not even acknowledging his existence.

“I saw someone literally spit into the punch, don’t drink it.”

Kihyun whirled around, and faced Hoseok, heart thumping. Now that Hoseok had moved himself from the meat head he called a boyfriend, Kihyun could see how fucking good he looked tonight. His red hair was messy, sticking out in different directions and his face was flushed, skin and collarbone exposed through the flimsy shirt he was wearing. His black jeans were seriously tight and hugged his thighs, displaying the firm muscles underneath.

He had a boyfriend. Kihyun had to remember that.

“Thanks for the warning.” Kihyun answered, leaning casually against the counter. Hoseok dropped the cup he was holding and cleared space on a counter before hopping up and sitting down.

“You’re an accounting student? I heard your friend say he had to prise you away from your books to get you to come.”

Kihyun had to smile a little at that. Hoseok did realise he was there.

“I am. My life is all numbers, it’s fun really.”

“I’ll bet.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, a thousand words he kept locked safely in. And Kihyun wanted to know more, more about him and who he was. He wanted to hear his voice, which Jooheon said was one of the best things he’d ever heard. He wanted to watch Hoseok play the piano on a warm summer day, he wanted more than the little conversations he’s had with Hoseok so far.

“So. Um I see Jack is here. Everything good on that front?” Kihyun asked.

Hoseok smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah! Really good. That argument we had the other time was over something stupid but we’ve worked it out.”

“Something stupid like what?”

“Oh it’s nothing really. He was flirting, no I _thought_ he was flirting with someone. But he- he was just being friendly. Once I apologised, everything was okay.” Hoseok explained, shrugging. His shirt slipped and Kihyun saw a hint of a bruise forming on his chest, purple and grotesque. And was that another bruise on his face that under the harsh light of the kitchen, even makeup couldn’t cover?

“Hoseok. Are you okay?” Kihyun breathed, and Hoseok followed his gaze down to his chest. He quickly covered it with both hands, chuckling nervously.

“All good! Anyway I should get going back to Jack, I came to grab us both drinks after all. Come with me and I can introduce you two properly.” Hoseok said.

“You can talk to me, Hoseok. About anything. I know we don’t know each other well, but if you have anything you want to get off your chest, I’m here. I’m a great listener.”

The conflict he saw in Hoseok’s eyes returned, and Hoseok opened his mouth as if to speak, to tell Kihyun those unspoken words he kept in.

“Come, let me introduce you to Jack.” Hoseok said, plastering a smile on his face and dragging Kihyun towards the living room.

*******

“Hoseok?”

Kihyun resisted gasping as he looked at Hoseok’s face. His nose was dripping blood and his left cheek was starting to swell. His shirt was ripped completely and he stood shivering outside Kihyun’s door.

“I had nowhere else to go.” He said and Kihyun took him by the hand and led him inside. He was thankful that his flighty roommate had decided he’d spent the night with his girlfriend. Kihyun guided Hoseok to his bed before rummaging in his dresser for a shirt big enough for Hoseok, and his first aid kit.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up.” Hoseok said, eyebrows creased with worry. Hoseok’s insistent knocking has in fact woken him up, but Kihyun wasn’t about to admit that.

“No I was revising. Forget about me, what happened to you. I mean it’s January and you’re-”

“Walking around wearing basically nothing? Yeah. You should have seen the looks I got from people as I walked here from downtown.” Hoseok said, attempting a smile and having fat tears fall from his eyes instead. Kihyun instantly sat down beside him, pulling him into a hug and rubbing his hair soothingly. He didn’t care that Hoseok’s blood was probably smeared all over his favourite pjs nor that he had a huge assessment in the morning he really needed to be asleep for.

“What happened?” he asked again and Hoseok sighed, clutching on to him. “Was it Jack?”

“My life has become that predictable huh.” Hoseok said, voice muffled by Kihyun’s shirt. He pulled back and rubbed his eyes, taking the first aid kit from Kihyun’s hand and fixing up his face. He was good at it, _too_ good at it as if he’d done it many times before.

“I’m sorry.”

“No don’t be. I feel so embarrassed showing myself to you like this. We’ve only been proper friends since November and you’ve already seen me at my worst so many times. How pathetic.”

“Hey, you’re not pathetic. It’s _Jack_ who’s fucking pathetic.”

Hoseok turned to Kihyun, shaking his head vigorously. “He’s not, he’s not really bad. I mean, it was kind of my fault tonight. I- he wanted sex and I refused and I shouldn’t have, I mean. It’s been a while so like, I understand he was frustrated you know. God I feel so fucking embarrassed to be telling you all this.”

“No, go on. I’m listening.” Kihyun said, doing his best to control the anger bubbling up inside me.

“Right, well. I refused and he tried anyway and that’s how my shirt ripped. I shoved him a bit and he retaliated. So you see, it’s kind of my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Hoseok. How can you even think you’re the one at fault in this situation?”

“Just, let me please stay with you tonight. He’d have calmed down by tomorrow morning and once I apologise everything will be fine again.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.”

Hoseok sighed, “I know you don’t understand and you think of him as a bad guy. But he’s really not. We’ve been together for years, Kihyun. He’s my best friend and he loves me. He’s a flirt and he gets mad sometimes but he loves _me_.”

Kihyun looked at Hoseok, at his cheek that was getting bigger and his nose that Hoseok had expertly cleaned of blood. At his ripped shirt and messy hair.

“Cherry.” He said.

“What?”

“If you’re ever in trouble or you want to escape for a bit. If everything gets to be too much and you want company. Or if you just want me to listen, anything you need. Text me ‘cherry’ or call me and simply say that. I’ll be by your side in an instant. And Jack wouldn’t get to know anything.”

Hoseok grinned, the first genuine smile on his lips Kihyun’s witnessed.

“Cherry like the colour of my hair?”

“Exactly.”

“How creative.” He joked.

“I’m an accounting student Hoseok, I have no creativity left in me.”

Hoseok laughed, loud and free, a childlike sound that was like music to Kihyun’s ears. He laughed for a long time, doubling over and eventually getting Kihyun to laugh along too.

“Thank you, Kihyun. I won’t ever have to cherry my way out of a situation though. Don’t worry.” He stated.

Kihyun hoped so, he really hoped so.

*******

“He needs help, therapy, counselling that kind of thing Kihyun. You can’t, you can’t fix him.” Jooheon stated, sipping his coffee and gazing at Kihyun.

“I know, fuck Jooheon don’t you think I know? But I doubt he’d listen to me if I told him he needs that help. In his mind, everything that happens is his fault, never Jack’s. It’s messed up and he’s messed up and this cherry thing was the only thing I could think of. He came to me all battered and bruised and bleeding I didn’t know what to do.”

“I just don’t get it, how he can keep making apologies for Jack and excusing him for every little thing. Minhyuk told me he thinks Jack is cheating again.”

“It’s fucked up. Everything’s a mess.” Kihyun said, placing his head in his hands.

“Look, he warmed up to you pretty quickly. And you like him. Maybe show him he deserves better, show him he deserves someone like you.”

“Jooheon I’m not gonna make moves on him. What he needs is to get out of his toxic relationship, not a boyfriend.” Kihyun stated.

“I’m not saying to make moves on him, he’s so caught up on Jack he wouldn’t notice anyway. What I am saying though is, Jack doesn’t let him have any proper friends. You’re the first person besides Jack I’ve seen him actually engage with. So be his friend, make him happy, make him see what being happy really is.”

“Thought you said I can’t fix him.” Kihyun pointed out and Jooheon shrugged.

“You can’t. But you can try to help him.”

Jooheon waved goodbye, rushing off to his class and Kihyun sat still, staring outside the coffee shop, Hoseok on his mind. It wasn’t his responsibility to fix or help Hoseok or whatever, he knew. But he also knew he couldn’t just sit around and watch Hoseok be taken for granted, _abused_ by someone he loved. Jooheon was right, he couldn’t fix Hoseok. But yeah, he could try to help. He could be Hoseok’s friend and shoulder to lean on when times got tough.

Grabbing his bag, he rushed out of the coffee shop, running towards the music quarter. Minhyuk had said that Hoseok was usually inside the piano room in the west wing when he had a break and Kihyun rushed there now, hoping with all his might that Hoseok was there. Kihyun could hear the soft sounds of a piano melody drifting through the hallway as he approached the west wing and he poked his head through each door on his path to find the source.

At the last room, he saw a familiar cherry red hair and he tiptoed in. Hoseok had his eyes closed, fingers gliding along the piano with skill and precision. His face was pulled into a frown and his body swayed as he expertly pressed the keys. The music itself began to get more intense, rising into a crescendo and filling up the studio.

Kihyun watched for a moment, feeling at ease before Hoseok cleared his throat, eyes opening suddenly.

“Were you going to say something?” he asked, fingers still rapidly pressing the keys.

“You knew I was here?”

“I knew _someone_ was here.”

“You’re good. Like really good.” Kihyun said, indicating to the piano and Hoseok finally stopped, smiling softly and caressing the instrument as if it held all the joy in the world.

“A concerto one day. That’s the dream. Me, centre stage, accompanied by an orchestra in a full, sold out opera house.”

“I don’t doubt for a second that you’ll make it.”

“What’s your dream?” Hoseok asked, shifting slightly on his seat. Kihyun dropped his bag and coat and sat next to him.

“I originally wanted to be a singer but that dream died a long time ago. I’m good at numbers and I genuinely love accounting. It’s not exciting but I love it.”

“Yeah? Manage my finance for me in the future? I suck at numbers and I’d need someone to manage all that famous pianist money for me.”

“I’d drop all my other clients for you in an instant.” Kihyun assured. Hoseok turned to him, eyes tired and he leaned forward, and grabbed Kihyun’s hand in his, giving it a small squeeze.

“I’ll hold you on to that.”

*******

“Cherry.”

Kihyun turned to Hoseok, waiting expectantly for him to continue. The summer heat was burning into their backs and Kihyun really wished he thought to bring his electric fan. They were outside the college quad, underneath the tree closed to the coffee shop, resting on a huge blanket Hoseok had provided. Jooheon had gone back home for the summer and Kihyun, whose mother wouldn’t have time for him anyway had opted to stay for the summer, gratefully accepting Minhyuk’s offer to let him crash at his apartment for the summer.

“I’ve felt free, so free since Jack went away.” Hoseok confessed, biting his lip and looking guilty instantly. Jack had also gone back home for the summer which meant Hoseok hung out with Kihyun more, laughed and talked freely. Kihyun liked him more and more as time passed. Without Jack around Hoseok was himself, he was goofy as Kihyun discovered and he loved working out. He also had a childish element to him, hiding Kihyun’s accounting books and making him go on a scavenger hunt to find them. He was also strong, he’d invited Kihyun to go to a gym session and he lifted weights Kihyun couldn’t even dream about breathing on. If he wanted to snap Jack in half he could.

But Hoseok wouldn’t. Even if he wasn’t in love with Jack, Hoseok wouldn’t hurt him. Hoseok was gentle, he rescued cats from trees and diligently helped old ladies cross the street. Kihyun didn’t think he had a mean bone in his body.

“Why is that?” Kihyun asked carefully, hoping to get Hoseok to spill more.

“I love Jack don’t get me wrong. But with him around I feel so… I feel trapped sometimes.”

“Why do you love him?”

Hoseok shifted until he was facing Kihyun; up close like this Kihyun could count the tiny freckles on his nose, see the curve of his long eyelashes and the tiny mole on his neck.

“He’s my best friend. I’ve known him since I was 15. I came out to my parents at 14 and they didn’t take it well at all. Jack, he picked me up, he made me happy. He’d stick up for me when jerks back home bullied me or tried to hurt me. I fell for him then, fell for his strength and loved how he looked after me.”

Kihyun could picture it, imagine little Hoseok falling for his protector. He seemed to be a romantic at heart; the type to latch on to their first love, desperately doing anything to make it work. Jack had turned into the jerk he supposedly protected Hoseok from. He had taken advantage of Hoseok’s awe of him, and twisted it to keep Hoseok close.

“But Hoseok, surely you can see that-” Kihyun trailed off, not really sure how to finish the sentence. Convincing Hoseok that his boyfriend didn’t deserve him never worked. Hoseok’s judgement was clouded and now Kihyun knew why. Jack was Hoseok’s first protector, maybe the first person to show interest in him, to be kind to him. He’d seen a kind side of Jack’s and he probably couldn’t or didn’t want to admit that the person he fell in love with, was a monster.

“I know you think he’s the demon in flesh. But you’ve only seen the angry side of him, Ki. He can be kind and thoughtful and an amazing guy if you get to know him. And I hope you do, I’d love for my boyfriend and best friend to be friends.”

Kihyun nodded, reaching over and massaging Hoseok’s scalp just how he liked it. Hoseok leaned into his touch and closed his eyes, humming contentedly. Kihyun, not for the first time, thought about how great it’d be, how lucky he’d feel if Hoseok liked him too.

*******

“Cherry!”

Kihyun was alert instantly, hastily putting on his clothes and rushing out of Minhyuk’s apartment. Jack had returned earlier than planned and Kihyun hadn’t seen Hoseok since July. He could hear a loud bang in the background and he hurried faster, hailing a taxi and giving the driver the address to Hoseok’s apartment.

“Should I call the police?” Kihyun spoke and Hoseok gasped lightly, a sob escaping from his lips. Kihyun just knew he’d be chewing on his bottom lip, worried for Jack’s safety if Kihyun did call the police.

“No! Just, stay on the phone with me. And get here quickly. Pretend you have something to collect from me. He’ll calm down if someone else is there.”

From Jack’s constant outburst in front of strangers, Kihyun wasn’t sure Jack would calm down if someone else was there.

“Okay, just. Where are you?”

“I’m in the bedroom, I’ve locked the door. Hurry up, Kihyunnie. Please.”

Kihyun’s heart softened at the nickname, the nickname Hoseok had begun to call him. He had said it fit him and made Kihyun seem even cuter and Kihyun had smiled for hours after that comment. Hoseok had always called him Kihyunnie with a smile on his face and now, because of Jack. That too was tainted.

Kihyun rushed out of the taxi as soon as it pulled up to Hoseok’s complex, collecting change the last thing on his mind. Although he’d never visited Hoseok, he’d mentioned his flat number and floor to Kihyun and Kihyun dashed up the stairs, legs burning and protesting. Skidding to a halt outside apart 2A, he knocked frantically, raised voices muffled by the door.

The door was thrown open moments later by a red faced Jack and he sneered down at Kihyun.

“The hell you want?” he asked, blocking the entrance.

“I need to collect some work from Hoseok. For class.” Kihyun lied, eyes not backing down under Jack’s scrutiny. He was miles smaller than Jack, but still, if needed he could pack a good punch.

“Is that so?” Jack said and disappeared into the apartment. Moments later he returned with a pleading Hoseok and Kihyun gasped, immediately looking away. Hoseok was naked, body red and bruised.

“Jack please.” Hoseok said, attempting to twist out of his grasp.

“Why are you looking down little boy? It’s not something you haven’t seen before is it? My mates told me all about you two, what you got up to in the summer. You think you can whore around while I have my back turned?” Jack said, spitting at Kihyun’s feet. Kihyun looked up, eyes blazing into Hoseok. Hoseok looked humiliated, tears running down his cheeks and lips split open. He made a futile attempt to cover himself with his free hand, only for Jack to grab that too and force his hands behind his back.

Kihyun took off his jacket, softly draped it around Hoseok as best as he could.

Then he turned to Jack, and with all his might, punched him square in the nose.

*******

**10 YEARS LATER**

**\--------------------------------------------**

“Minhyuk will like the ring Jooheon.” Kihyun assured, checking out himself in the mirror. He was dressed in a grey suit, purple tie loose around his neck and black shoes polished to a shine. He sighed as he briefly touched his cheek, long jaggered scar noticeable even with the makeup he had attempted to cover it up with.

Thoughts of Hoseok flashed in his mind as they often did when he saw that scar.

He never spoke to Hoseok again after he punched Jack that night and got into a fight with him; Jack’s ring tearing into his cheek and leaving him with a permanent reminder. Hoseok had ignored all of Kihyun’s texts and walked away quickly when he crossed paths with him. After college, he’d accepted Jack’s proposal and 8 months later they were married.

Kihyun had also moved on, getting a job at a bank and loving every second of it. He had quickly risen in his profession and at 28 he was now in high demand with clients who trusted him more than they trusted himself. He wondered if Hoseok’s dream had come true.

Shaking the thoughts off his mind, he took one last look at himself. He grabbed Minhyuk’s birthday present, wine and the rare collectible action figure Minhyuk had been searching for and rushed out of his apartment. Minhyuk and Jooheon had also moved in together after college and boasting a 10 year relationship. Jooheon was finally going to propose to Minhyuk.

Maybe Kihyun didn’t have the love he wanted, but at least his best friends did.

“You think?”

“I know. He’ll love the ring and he’ll love being your fiancé and he’ll love showing off to everyone at his party. And he’ll love when people ask if you’re his boyfriend and he can say no, because you’re his _fiancé_. Now please open up it’s too hot for a suit.”

Jooheon grinned when he opened the door, pulling Kihyun into a firm hug.

“Was the journey here stressful?” he asked.

“J, I live 2 minutes away from you.” Kihyun answered, making a beeline for the living room. He loved coming to Minhyuk and Jooheon’s house. They’d forked out all their savings for it, and he’d watch it transform from empty spaces filled with cardboard boxes to a home.

“Where’s the birthday boy?!” he called to Jooheon.

He stopped, tongue tied as a familiar figure looked up from the couch as he walked in the living room. Red haired dyed to a jet black. Hoseok smiled.

“Hi.”

Kihyun felt anger rush through him first, then relief. Relief that Hoseok was still alive. That he looked happy and well. Maybe Jack changed after all.

“Hey.” He answered. Minhyuk was perched on the other side of the room, eyes glinting mischievously and Kihyun knew immediately it was a setup. Rolling his eyes, he crossed over to hand Minhyuk his present. He still liked Hoseok, yes. But he also saw the glint of gold on Hoseok’s ring finger. He was still with Jack.

“Happy birthday you little shit.” Kihyun greeted, shoving the present at Minhyuk.

“You’ll thank me one day.” Minhyuk answered, getting up and giving Kihyun a hug.

“I’ll go help Jooheon in the kitchen because I know that’s why you two useless people asked me to come early. When is everyone else getting here?” Kihyun asked, ignoring the feeling in his stomach. He knew Hoseok was watching.

“Actually. You stay here and I’ll go help Jooheon.” Minhyuk said loudly, not so subtly glancing at Hoseok. He winked before practically running out of the room.

Kihyun sighed, unbuttoning his suit and sitting down. Hoseok was still watching him.

“How have you been?” Hoseok asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Good. You?”

“Good. I um, I married Jack.” He stated and Kihyun shrugged.

“I heard.”

“Cherry.” He replied and Kihyun almost smiled at that. He remembered.

“Go on.”

“I’m sorry, Ki, for everything. Especially the scar on your face. Jack, he crossed a line that night.” Hoseok said.

“He crossed a lot of lines. But it’s fine. He couldn’t make it tonight?”

“He has some stuff to do. Sends his best wishes to Minhyuk though.”

“Okay.”

“You’re mad at me. I deserve it.” Hoseok said.

Kihyun shook his head, because no, he wasn’t mad at Hoseok. He was mad at Jack, he was mad that he didn’t speak to or see Hoseok for years. He was mad at circumstances, not Hoseok. “You did nothing wrong.”

“But I did. I should have kept in touch. I should have. You’re my best friend and you did so much for me and I casted you aside. Jack told me to do so, threatened to leave me if I talked to you. But I should have tried harder.”

Jack. Of course it was Jack that forced him away from Kihyun.

“It doesn’t matter, really. You’re here now, you’re happy. You’re safe. We have tonight and hopefully the rest of our lives to catch up. I was hurt yeah, but you’re my best friend still. I still love you.”

Hoseok leaned forward, hugging him fiercely and Kihyun laughed. “Missed me that much?”

“More than you know.”

*******

“Hoseok?”

Kihyun opened the door, mind flickering back to their college years, when Hoseok had turned up at his dorm, face as downcast as it was now.

“Can I come in?”

“Like you need to ask, come.” Kihyun answered pulling him in.

Catching up with Hoseok over the last month came easier than he thought. Hoseok lived with Jack a couple of hours away at a mansion that Kihyun would probably never be able to afford in 3 lifetimes. He stayed home while Jack went to work, dreams of being a pianist diminished. Jack’s temper seemed to have subsided and Hoseok looked genuinely happy.

Except now he looked like his entire world had collapsed.

“It’s over. Between me and Jack.”

Kihyun had to turn around and busy himself with brewing coffee to hide the wide grin on his face.

“What happened?” he asked, tone dripping with fake concern.

“I know you’re grinning Kihyunnie, don’t try to hide it.”

Kihyun laughed, then quickly covered his mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m a horrible friend.”

“No. You’re great, and you were right. You and everyone else has always been right. He’s a fucking jerk and I let him treat me like crap. And the worst thing is even after all of that, after all the fucked up shit he’s done to me. The reason I’m divorcing him is because I caught him cheating. He beat me and humiliate me. But him _cheating_ is why I’m leaving. But I always thought, okay he beat me and he’s cruel sometimes. But at least you know, it was only me. He loved only me. Turns out that’s a lie, not that I’m shocked.”

“How do you feel?”

“Free? Worried? I don’t have anywhere to go. He pays the bills and he didn’t allow me to get a job either. God I’m actually so pathetic.”

“You’re not. You were in a toxic relationship and he controlled you and manipulated you and fucking abused you. You are the victim. There’s nothing pathetic about you.” Kihyun said, going to sit down next to him and taking his hand.

“I suppose I can go back to my parents. Beg them to take me back. Say that my gay disease is suddenly cured or whatever.” Hoseok said and Kihyun rolled his eyes.

“I have a study I can easily change into a spare bed room.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“Ask your best friend to help you while you’re in a rough situation? You’d insult me if you didn’t. I’m not asking you to freeload, you can get a job. And pay rent after you’re properly established.”

Hoseok grinned, leaning back on the couch, his grip on Kihyun’s hand tightening.

“Thank you so much Kihyunnie. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

*******

Kihyun sat up, heart pounding as a scream sounded around his apartment. He hastily rushed out of his bedroom, rushing towards Hoseok’s room where he knew Hoseok would be tangled up in his sheets, nightmare plaguing him. It had been 3 months since he broke it off with Jack, since he moved in with Kihyun and the nightmares were as bad as ever. Nightmares always of Jack, of Jack coming back and forcefully taking him. Jack wasn’t making the divorce easy and Kihyun could see that was starting to take a huge toll on Hoseok.

He climbed into bed with Hoseok as he’d been doing when the nightmares came, softly cradling his head and whispering soothing words.

“You’re fine. You’re fine.” He repeated, over and over again until Hoseok’s breathing slowed and his eyes opened.

“Why am I like this, Kihyun? Why am I so weak? How did I let him treat me like that?”

“You’re strong Hoseok, you went through so much and you’re still here. Living. You still try to make the most of every day. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“It’s like I can’t be loved. My parents didn’t love me, Jack doesn’t love me.”

“I love you.”

“You’re obliged to say that. You’re my best friend.”

“I’m not. I do love you, and I have for a long time. Since I first saw you in that coffee shop in college.” Kihyun couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth. Hoseok sat up properly, eyes wide and mouth opened.

“Kihyunnie, I.”

“Hey. It’s okay, don’t look so worried. I’m not asking you to love me more than a friend Hoseok. And it doesn’t hurt me either. I’m just letting you know that you can be loved. And tomorrow, if you’re up to it. We can sign you up for counselling or therapy or whatever. Get you proper professional help.”

Hoseok’s eyes glazed over, and a loud wail erupted from his mouth as he sobbed, gripping on to Kihyun’s leg tightly. He cried, and cried for a long time and Kihyun watched, waited. Hoseok needed to cry. Needed to let out all the emotions he’d been holding in for so long.

Hoseok cried, cried until his eyes looked bloodshot and the tears no longer fell. Then he wrapped his arms around Kihyun, laid down on the bed together. And went to sleep.

*******

“So what was it about him, what attracted you to him?”

Hoseok played with his frayed jeans, unable to meet Kamryn’s intense gaze. Although he’d already had 2 sessions with her and she was a nice enough lady with kind eyes, finally having to talk about Jack, without Kihyun there made him wary.

“I don’t know.” He answered.

Except he did know; Jack picked him up and made him feel whole. He saved him from his emotionally abusive and sometimes physically abusive parents. He encouraged Hoseok to embrace his sexuality and he loved him. He was kind, he was gentle, he was Hoseok’s first love, first kiss. First everything. Jack filled the void in Hoseok’s live.

“Try again.” Kamryn prodded gently, setting aside her clipboard and leaning forward to show she was listening.

“He was. He was kind. I didn’t have that growing up, I had my father belittling me for not playing football or being a ‘normal’ guy. My mother wasn’t any better, especially I came out. Four hours a day, she’d force me to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness. And then came Jack. He showed me kindness I’ve never felt before, treated me like a person.” Hoseok said, still not quite meeting Kamryn’s gaze.

“So did that- do you think you felt grateful to him? Did that gratefulness then manifest into romantic feelings?”

“I think so yeah. I felt like I had to pay him back somehow, like I owed him a huge debt. I mean, he convinced his parents to let me stay in the spare bedroom when it got unbearable for me at home. Talked me through my insecurities and made me feel good. Even now, even after everything I still feel like I owe him.”

“And you loved him?” Kamryn asked and Hoseok looked up, frowning slightly. Did he love Jack? Yes, he was grateful to Jack for a long time and he loved the feeling of being with him. Of having someone look after him and feeling safe, even when Jack got abusive, he’d always come back to Hoseok. He’d patch him up and pick him up, put ointment on his bruises.

“Abuse is all I’ve ever known. From my parents, from Jack.” Hoseok answered.

“Do you think you view abuse as a form of love?”

_“I’m doing this because I love you.” His father would say after hitting him for what felt like the millionth time._

_“This is because I love you.” His mother would say even as Hoseok’s knees bled and his stomach cried due to the hunger._

_“I love you, you know that? That’s why I have to do this, to remind you that you belong to me.” Jack would say, kissing Hoseok softly after one of his many outbursts._

Hoseok scoffed, shame in himself rising through his body.

“I’m so pathetic.” He muttered, putting his head in his hands.

“You were manipulated since you were young, Hoseok. Firstly from the two figures in your life that’s meant to protect you; the psychological impact of that is bigger than you know. And then came this beacon of hope for you in the form of Jack and after not knowing love all your life, you latched on to him. Even as he got abusive you stayed, because that’s all you’ve ever known. You are not pathetic.” Kamryn said, voice rising a bit and Hoseok smiled. Kamryn hadn’t broken composure once since Hoseok had met her.

“Can we talk about something else?” Hoseok asked.

“I’m here to listen.”

“I think- I think I’m falling into that habit again. Latching on to and falling for someone that showed me kindness.”

“Go on.” Kamryn encouraged.

“Right. Well, he’s someone I’ve known since we were in college. He’s kind, he’s protective of me and he’s done a lot. So much for me.”

“Does this person have feelings for you that you know about?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you owe them?”

“Yeah.”

“So do you think you developing feelings for this person is your way of paying them back? You want to pay them back somehow so you convince yourself you have feelings for them?”

“I don’t know.”

“This person. How are they in comparison to Jack?”

A faint smile appeared on Hoseok’s lips as he thought about Kihyun. Kihyun who had done so much for him, fought Jack with all his might that night even though he was never going to win. Kihyun who had flawless skin and actually had a skin care routine, having a permanent scar on his cheek all because of Hoseok.

“He’s kind, he’s patient. He’s done so much for me and been with me through so much. He actually ask for my input on things and not once has he ever tried to force me to do what I don’t want to do. He’s my best friend.”

“The thing about feelings, Hoseok. Is that you’re allowed to take your time with them. You’re allowed to let them develop or not develop, you don’t have to act on them instantly. See how you feel about this person in a week, in a month or even a year.”

“I’m just scared, that by then it’ll be too late. That he’ll get tired of me and move on with his life.”

“How long have you known this person?”

“10 years technically. I didn’t speak to him for a while after college because of Jack. We recently reconnected.”

“You know this person best obviously. Do _you_ think it’ll be too late if you wait?”

Hoseok thought about it, thought about Kihyun who accepted him back without question despite how much it must have hurt him, how much Hoseok must have hurt him.

“No.” Hoseok stated confidently. “It wouldn’t.”

*******

“Kihyun at least let me wear my coat properly.” Hoseok said, giggling a bit at how excited Kihyun looked. He had come into the library Hoseok found a job at, physically dragging him out and claiming Hoseok would never have to work there again. The leaves were already turning a golden brown and Hoseok looked forward to his first Halloween with Kihyun. Minhyuk and Jooheon were planning on throwing a costume party and Hoseok wondered whether Kihyun would like them to go in a couple costume.

“Sorry! I’m just excited!” Kihyun said, eyes glinting. He suddenly stopped in front of a building, dusted down Hoseok’s coat and fixed his tie properly before dragging him inside. He allowed Kihyun to lead him into a room at the back of the building where a stout man wearing glasses waited.

“What’s going on?” Hoseok whispered, forcing Kihyun to a stop.

“Surprise!”

“What?”

“This building runs as a youth centre at night. And they’re looking for a _pianist_ and I saw the flyer on my way to work. The pay is way higher than what you get at the library too and you’ll probably love this a million times better.”

“Kihyun-”

“I know it’s not a sold out opera house as of yet. But I have no doubt you’ll get there. Baby steps right?”

Hoseok wordlessly enveloped Kihyun in a hug, heart beating fast. Not for the first time in the past few months, he felt his feelings for Kihyun rise and he pushed them away, choosing to focus on the moment instead.

“Now, go play the piano. Show him what you’re made of.” Kihyun whispered, giving Hoseok a gentle push towards the man.

*******

“Do you wanna wear a couple costume to Minhyuk and Jooheon’s thing?” Hoseok asked in between mouthfuls of the ramen Kihyun had cooked.

“Okay. What costume? Bonnie and Clyde? A dog and a fire hydrant?”

Hoseok laughed, shoving Kihyun playfully. He loved that he could say something like that to Kihyun, _couple costume_ and Kihyun didn’t think twice of it. Didn’t try to make it a big deal. Kihyun, true to his word didn’t pressurise Hoseok to like him back. He continued being supportive and kind and respectful. Maybe it was time to tell him how he felt.

“Kihyun I-”

He was cut short as an insistent pounding sounded at the door. He looked at Kihyun before rushing up and peering through the keyhole.

“Jack.” He muttered, stepping back. Kihyun was by his side in minutes.

“You don’t have to answer.”

“I do. What if he’s finally signed the divorce papers?” Hoseok asked.

“I’m right here.” Kihyun answered and Hoseok took a deep breath, throwing the door open. It seemed to be years since he’d seen Jack last. His hair was cropped short and he looked like he put on a few pounds. He looked truly grotesque sneering at Hoseok and he wondered what he ever saw in him.

Hoseok saw Jack’s eyes land on Kihyun.

“So. You run back to the same person you were cheating on me with. I’m not even shocked.”

Wordlessly, Kihyun reached over and gave Hoseok’s hand a squeeze.

“Why are you here?” Hoseok responded, sounding braver than he actually felt.

“I wanted to stupidly take you back; I thought you’d have come back to your senses but apparently not. You’ve been whoring around with him all this while? Fucking him have you? What happened to going back to your parents?”

“I’m not returning with you, Jack. So if that is all, please leave.” Hoseok responded.

“So you choose him? This _nothing_ over me? I have money and connections. You want to become a concert pianist right? I can get you there in an instant. I’ll change, look I broke it off with Melanie. Come on babe. You love me.”

“I loved the idea of you. I love that you took care of me even though that sounds so fucking pathetic. I loved that you were someone I could hold on to, someone I could run back to when times got tough. Did I really love _you_? I’m not sure. Maybe I did once, it hardly matters now.

“It’s me babe, come on.”

“Jack. I don’t think you heard me the first time. I am not returning with you. Sign the divorce papers, let me go.”

“I refuse to sign.”

“Then I’ll take this to court. I’m not fucking playing with you Jack.”

“So you’re really leaving me? Because of him? He’s nothing. You know that right? Nothing. I can buy him and everything he owns without denting even 1 per cent of my bank.”

“He’s worth more than all the money in the world to me. But I don’t have to explain anything to you. Leave.”

Jack reached into his pocket and thrusted a bunch of papers at Hoseok, jabbing him lightly in the chest. Hoseok looked down, elation filling him up as he saw what the papers were. He saw Kihyun glance at the papers and saw the corner of his mouth lift not so subtly.

“You deserve each other.” Jack said.

“Wrong as always. I’d never deserve Kihyun, not even in 7 lifetimes. Goodbye, Jack.” He said, stepping back and slamming the door in his face.

“He signed!” Hoseok screamed once he was sure Jack had left, grabbing Kihyun and squeezing him in a hug.

“He did! And you were so cool just then I got goosebumps. ‘Then I’ll take this to court.’” Kihyun mimicked, puffing out his chest.

“Shut up I do not sound like that.” Hoseok laughed, glancing down at the papers again. He’d soon be free from Jack, forever.

“There’s only one thing I didn’t agree with though, in all you said.” Kihyun said, pulling Hoseok on to the couch.

“I didn’t mean anything by it I hope it’s not weird. You do mean a lot to me, more than any money in the world.”

Kihyun smiled a bit, “no not that. You saying you don’t deserve me.”

“Oh.”

“Hoseok-”

“I don’t though do I? You’re this kind person, sticking up for a person you didn’t even know when everyone else in that coffee shop just wanted to enjoy the show.”

“I’m just me, Hoseok. I’m not this idealistic person. I make mistakes like everyone else, I can be snarky and rude and I have a temper. You don’t have to ‘deserve’ me. We’re friends. There’s no deserving with friends.” Kihyun said.

“I like you.” Hoseok responded.

“You don’t have to-”

“No, Kihyun.” Hoseok cut off grasping his hand tightly. “It’s not something I feel like I have to tell you and it’s not because I feel like I owe you. I do, I genuinely like you and it’s been eating me up for the past few months. Because I kept thinking, maybe I was falling back into routine. Falling for someone because they saved me. But it’s not like that, not at all. I like you for you. I like your smile and your contagious, weird as fuck laugh. I like how your hair seems to have a mind of his own and how you always double knot your laces. I like that you wear odd socks and like to shower with strawberry scented gel. I like everything about you, down to your sexy brain.”

Kihyun stared at him for a moment, unblinking before a smile broke out on his face.

“And if you’ll take me, if you still like me then I’d love nothing more than to be with you. Go on thousands of dates and get a dog or a cat or whatever you want, get to know each other. I want us to have a house together, right next to Minhyuk and Jooheon, taking care of their children when they need to escape.” Hoseok said.

“Minhyuk and Jooheon have a child in this scenario?” Kihyun laughed.

“Don’t tell Jooheon but Minhyuk’s gonna bring up the children talk with him soon.” Hoseok disclosed, laughing too.

“And, you like me. Right? It’s not spurn on by Jack or by anything else?” Kihyun asked.

“I like you Kihyun. Because it’s what my heart wants, it’s what I want.”

“I’ve been waiting for so long to hear this.” Kihyun spoke, voice cracking a bit as tears easily fell from his eyes.

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

*******

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the love and union between Mr Lee and Mr Lee. At least you have the last names set already, no fighting about that.”

A chuckle ran through the crowd and Hoseok smiled, holding on to the ring tightly next to Minhyuk. Kihyun was on the other side beside Jooheon, holding on to a similar ring and smiling at the grooms. Jooheon looked nervous, eyes never leaving Minhyuk’s once and Minhyuk was already bawling, ever dramatic.

As per Jooheon’s wish, the wedding ceremony was held in a small venue, only immediate families and best friends allowed. Jooheon had asked Kihyun to be his best man and Minhyuk had asked Hoseok. Kihyun looked breath taking in his black fitted suit and gelled hair and Hoseok would have to remember to tell him that later.

For now though, he kept his focus back on his friends, getting married at last. He was happy for them, overjoyed. They had the picture book romance Hoseok thought he had with Jack. They deserved the love they gave each other and Hoseok couldn’t wait for their future together.

“By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss-”

Hoseok laughed loudly as Minhyuk grabbed Jooheon, pulling him into a passionate kiss even before the officiant could finish his words. Kihyun moved to stand next to Hoseok, grabbing his hand and entwining their fingers.

They were taking it slow, as per Hoseok’s request. And Kihyun, ever patient agreed instantly. They spent a year discovering each other, learning about each other before Hoseok was ready to ask Kihyun to be his boyfriend. Hoseok had proven to be popular at the youth centre and he was soon contacted by various organisations, ready to hire him in a heartbeat. Baby steps. Just like Kihyun had said.

He still went to his sessions with Kamryn, still got the nightmares sometimes, still didn’t feel safe at times, even though Jack had moved to England a long time ago to manage the Jordan branch there. Kihyun was always there though, to talk to him, to make him happy. He didn’t know what he’d do without Kihyun.

He moved with the reception to the adjacent reception room, going immediately to the piano and taking a seat on it.

 _“Who needs an entertainer when we have you?”_ Minhyuk had said proudly and Hoseok gladly accepted.

Kihyun was sat at the front of the table, right next to the newlyweds, chatting happily with them. Hoseok began to play, pride rising as conversation stopped and all eyes turned to him. He immersed himself in the melody, thoughts of Kihyun on his mind as his eyes closed.

When he finally stopped, he heard loud applause, the loudest he knew belonged to Kihyun.

“I am so proud of you right now. I want to tell everyone ‘that’s my man.’” Kihyun said, coming over to peck Hoseok quickly on the cheek.

“You liked it?”

“Loved it. I can’t wait for your concert next week.”

“It’s not really my concert, others will be playing.” Hoseok said, though he still felt proud.

“A lot of people are coming for you though.” Kihyun said, nodding his head and Hoseok smiled, getting up from the piano and kissing him fiercely on the lips.

“Have I told you lately how much I like you?” Hoseok asked, playing with Kihyun’s tie. He wasn’t quite ready to tell Kihyun he loved him yet, though he was close. He was definitely close.

“Tell me again.” Kihyun whispered.

“I like you, so much.” Hoseok replied.

“I like you too.” Minhyuk said, coming up behind them with Jooheon in tow.

“You’re stealing our thunder at our own wedding. Quick, Minhyuk say something romantic.” Jooheon joked.

“I can’t wait to get you alone tonight.” Minhyuk said with a wink.

“How romantic.” Kihyun said.

“Hmm I love it when he talks dirty to me.” Jooheon said, winking as he pulled Minhyuk into a deep kiss.

“Gross.” Kihyun said, though he looked happy. So happy.

And maybe Hoseok was ready, at last. To take the final step with Kihyun tonight.

“I can’t wait to get you alone tonight either.” Hoseok whispered, biting Kihyun’s earlobe slightly. Kihyun gasped, eyes wide as Hoseok stepped away, going back to the piano.

*******

“Hoseok.” Kihyun gasped. They were barely over the threshold of their apartment before Hoseok had pounced on him, kissing him deeply.

“Yeah?” Hoseok responded, shrugging off his suit.

“Are you-”

“Do you not want this?” Hoseok asked stepping back. Kihyun’s hair was already a mess and his lips were slick, face already flushed.

“No, I. I want to make sure _you_ want this.” Kihyun responded, tone soft.

“I do. I’m ready.” Hoseok assured. Kihyun grinned, grabbing him and kissing him roughly.

“Okay tiger, you’re eager.” Hoseok joked, leading Kihyun into the bedroom in between kisses. Kihyun laughed, taking off his suit and unbuttoning Hoseok’s shirt. He took his time, pressing kisses to every part of Hoseok’s exposed body and Hoseok shivered slightly. Kihyun suddenly stopped and Hoseok knew he’d seen it, seen the scars on his back from where Jack had marked him, beat him and hurt him.

“Hoseok.” Kihyun whispered, hurt filling his eyes as he looked up.

“I look gross. I know.”

“You look as beautiful as you always do. Scars and all.” Kihyun said, said kissing the scar on Hoseok’s shoulder before moving to the one on his chest. Hoseok watched, enthralled as Kihyun kissed each and every scar before leaning up and kissing his forehead.

“Be gentle?” Hoseok asked, feeling just a bit pathetic that he had to ask that of Kihyun. He had to be vulnerable whether he liked it or not. He hated having to show a less than perfect side to Kihyun.

“Of course.”

Kihyun took him gently by the hand, guiding him to the bed and laying him down. He helped Hoseok out of his trousers before shrugging out of his own clothes. Kihyun often called him beautiful, but Hoseok had to disagree. Kihyun was the beautiful one.

Kihyun worked slowly, moving to lick Hoseok’s nipples. He sucked for a while, earning a small moan from Hoseok. His lips felt good, gentle, unlike what Hoseok was used to from Jack. Next, Kihyun reached over producing a condom and lube. Hoseok waited, until Kihyun finally reached over, entwining their fingers.

“You ready?” he asked. And Hoseok knew if he said no, if he refused, Kihyun would stop. Pull away, cuddle him until he fell asleep. He wouldn’t force him like Jack did, he’d respect his wishes.

“Ready.” Hoseok said.

Kihyun nodded, then slowly slipped his cock into Hoseok’s ass, stopping when it seemed like he had completely filled him up. He waited once more for Hoseok’s nod before slowly starting to move. He bent down, hugging Hoseok as he moved, and Hoseok felt safe. Safe and content, he let himself forget Jack, let himself focus on the man in front of him. On his Kihyun.

“I love you.” He breathed, eyes staring into Kihyun’s.

Kihyun’s eyes filled with tears briefly, a sigh escaping his lips, “I love you too.”

*******

Hoseok was totally in his element, fingers gliding as he got into the music. Kihyun couldn’t keep his eyes away and he was sure every single person presented in the hall felt the same way. Many had performed, but it was Hoseok, it was Hoseok that had every mum, latching on to his every move. A single spotlight shone down on him, and he looked happy, mystical.

“What’s the name of this piece?” a woman next to him asked her friend.

“Cherry. I heard it was the colour of his hair back in college.” The friend replied.

“It’s beautiful. Haunting almost, like he’s telling a story.”

Kihyun smiled, heart swelling with pride as Hoseok got more into it. Cherry was a piece he spent months perfecting, claiming it was the best composition he’d ever come up with. Cherry was indeed his story, told through the melodies of the piano. Cherry told his struggle, his life and his overcoming of the struggles.

Hoseok suddenly paused, breaking the intensity of the music. The tempo changed, the tone changed, it became softer. More delicate. Kihyun loved this bit the most. This part of Cherry that told of his love for Kihyun, of how happy he became when he met Kihyun.

He finally stopped, opened his eyes and waited. The applause came right after, as people stood up, some going as far as to cheer. Kihyun stood up too, glancing over at Minhyuk and Jooheon next to him, his pride in Hoseok swelling. Hoseok looked over at the crowd, eyes landing on Kihyun’s and he gave him a smile, meant only for him. Then he bowed.

“We’ll meet you outside.” Kihyun whispered to Minhyuk, rushing off to find Hoseok.

Hoseok was waiting for him and he rushed forward when he saw Kihyun, enveloping him in a hug.

“How was it?” he asked.

“Amazing. I’m pretty sure I saw people cry. Especially when you played cherry.” Kihyun said.

Hoseok beamed, kissing him before pulling back.

“It’s not quite a full opera house.”

“But you’ll get there.” Kihyun said.

“Cherry.” Hoseok replied. Kihyun frowned, Hoseok hadn’t said that in a while, didn’t have a need to.

“What’s wrong?” He prompted.

Hoseok laughed, linking their hands and steering him towards the exit.

“Nothing. I’m reclaiming it. Cherry is now what I’ll say every time I want to tell you I love you.” Hoseok declared.

“What, like I cherry you?” Kihyun said.

“Exactly. I cherry you.” Hoseok replied.

“You’re such a sap.” Kihyun answered.

“Yeah but you cherry me too.”

Kihyun grinned, “I do.”

They could see Minhyuk and Jooheon waiting by their car. They’d insisted on treating them to dinner to celebrate Hoseok’s first concert. They were both wearing a shirt with Hoseok’s face on it, completed with finger gloves and hats with Hoseok’s name on it. They broke some serious societal conventions and got disapproving looks but they didn’t care. The biggest Hoseok supporters after Kihyun.

“You wanna know something?” Hoseok asked, waving to Minhyuk and Jooheon.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t even like cherries.” He confessed and Kihyun laughed, loud and clear. Hoseok still had nightmares, nightmares that had him screaming and crying. He still pulled away from Kihyun sometimes, and they had their arguments too. They fought sometimes and life wasn’t a bowl of cherries all the time. But they loved each other and Kihyun knew, he knew they’d make it.

“Me neither.” Kihyun replied.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a journey to write; it hurt me sometimes and occasionally i had to stop, especially at the scene where jack forced hoseok to stand naked in front of kihyun. writing hoseok overcoming that though, best feeling in the world || comments always appreciated~
> 
> come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wdymkiho)<3


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